14 posts from April 2007

Today in class, we learned about Roman attitudes towards queefing around the time of Domitian!

Martial, Epigrams, VII.18
Cum ibi sit facies, de qua nec femina possit
dicere, cum corpus nulla litura notet,
cur te tam rarus cupiat repetatque fututor,
miraris? Vitium est non leve, Galla, tibi:
accessi quotiens ad opus mitisque movemur
inguinibus, cunnus non tacet, ipsa taces.
Di facerent, ut tu loquereris et ille taceret:
offendor cunni garrulitate tui.
Pedere te mallem: namque hoc nec inutile dicit
symmachus et risum res movet ista simul:
quis ridere potest fatui poppysmata cunni?
Cum sonat hic, cui non mentula mensque cadit?
Dic aliquid saltem clamosoque obstrepe cunno,
et si adeo muta es, disce vel inde loqui.

Hooray!

Interestingly, we talked about how in the old editions this poem and others similar would be translated out of Latin -- into Italian, not English. Too dirty for English, I guess.

For the record, from the hum play, by J.Christ (and not the God one), to the tune of "I'm a lumberjack":

I'm the emperor, and I'm not gay
I sleep all night and I work all day

I govern Rome, I eat my lunch, I'm gonna be deified
I go to the Coliseum to watch barbarians die

I govern Rome, I skip and jump, I stab my enemies
I made my horse a consul, and I may have fucked my mom!
(What, haven't you?)

some seniors are wearing their laurels, some seniors are on too many stimulants, and some seniors are having crying jags.

Stacia posted a great video about Renn Fayre. I add some -- nay, a veritable plethora of Reediana -- for your procrastinatory pleasure:

This article has an interesting topic: lunchtimes, dinner times, et cetera. How/when did people eat?

Interestingly, as a college student, I find myself eating a plethora of meals. I'll wake up and eat breakfast -- something light before school, taken at eight or nine in the morning -- then lunch at noon, which is about the same size or perhaps a little heavier. Around four o'clock I need to take coffee and a snack, which takes the place of a Victorian afternoon tea; I've certainly had my eating habits altered, in this way, by the fact that I live in Portland with such a big coffee culture. Then dinner comes around seven, the largest meal of the day. On Fridays and Saturdays, when I regularly stay up until two o'clock or later, I'll eat another snack before bed, which sounds a whole lot like the supper meal that once was the norm at six o'clock.

I think that part of the problem with obesity might come with the fact that people are eating all these meals -- five in a day! -- but not adjusting their size. The only full meal I usually eat is dinner -- by "full" I of course mean involving a salad, a main course, and a side dish. Everything else is much smaller: breakfast some yogurt and granola, lunch a bagel with cream cheese and cucumbers, coffee taken with a cookie or some fruit, and supper involving whatever is around (usually bread and cheese and fruit). Only dinner is at all complex. But if I were to follow cookbooks and pay attention to what television tells me is the "norm," I would be eating hugely.

Just some thoughts. What are your eating habits? Am I normal in this plethora of meals?

but really?

you can't get good coffee in california. at least, not in walnut creek. weakest. americano. ever.

1) Well, last night I broke out in the itchies from stress, and this morning I went on a crying jag (and a mom-fight) with very little provocation. Yep, it's that time of the year. Poor Nick, having to deal with my crazy.

2) I washed my hair no-poo style for the second time today. This time, I used an apple cider vinegar rinse after the baking soda (1 tablespoon ACV + 3 drops tea tree oil + 1 cup water). My hair is incredibly happy. Even if the baking soda lightens it (which I hear tell can happen -- which would be too bad, as I like having darker hair) I love this too much to stop. Wow. It also looked pretty good through yesterday, after just being water-washed at the gym, and even this morning before I washed it it wasn't awful. I mean, it wasn't as nice as it is now, but for dirty hair it was manageable, not doing the crazy cowlicky things that it sometimes does. Don't know if I just slept well on it, or if that was a result of the no-poo.

3) See the Hum play. Last night I saw a rehearsal (since I am out of town this Friday afternoon, Saturday, and Sunday morning) and it was great. I laughed so, so hard!

4) If I stop being a dumb kid, I can get this Ellen paper done and done well. Really. I just need to stop writing two sentences, wibbling, deleting them, writing two more, wibbling, deleting, ad infinitum. Time for my brain to kick into gear, seriously.

So, I guess I'm doin' fine. I guess I ought to write a real post, is what I mean. Well -- I seem to be actually incapable of writing a worthwhile paper since I wrote my qual ("disappointing," I got back: and honestly I was disappointed with it too, but I have no idea how to fix it, how to make myself be able to write again) and I'm having a hard time planning ahead. I mean, I do all my work and then instead of getting done with the paper that's due next week, which I really need to start writing so that I can edit it more than once, I just end up staring at the internets and feeling defeated.

Which I suppose is the way junior year feels, like you're simultaneously much more competent than you ever have been before and way too incompetent to possibly exist. I suppose, yeah, that I'll get through it. I mean, I've done my research, so I'll muddle through writing it somehow.

Today my class with Steve went to Laughing Planet for burritos and had our meeting there, and a lady at the next table said "the problem with bananas is that they're too big" very loudly just as we had a lull in the conversation, and I honestly wasn't sure if she intended it to sound obscene or not, because she was about fifty years old and sounded very serious but at the same time I have a hard time understanding what context that could possibly be a normal statement in.. Everyone but Martin and I was able to partake in the pitchers of beer that got slung about, which was a little depressing (why am I so young?) but if I had had any alcohol I probably would have actually said "you all are such pretentious JERKS" instead of just thinking it really, really hard, and that would not have made me a very popular person. But honestly, I don't even want to go into what made me mad about the way we were talking in that conference. Let's just say that I think that the mark of a simple mind is complaining that you can't get through a book because of how poorly written it is, when it has perfectly acceptable grammar. (My objection to Kittler had less to do with his grammar and more to do with his obfuscating imagery, for what it's worth.)

Anyhow, I am clearly very tired because I'm speaking in horrible huge run-on sentences. I suppose my loyal readership will read this anyway. I mean, obvs. Even if I say "obvs" and "srsly."

Next semester I'm taking the philosophy class on bodies/machines and the religion class about bodily perception. I think they will tie in nicely together especially if I end up thesising on cyborg/body modification culture online, which I have begun to be interested in. It seems like the internet has vastly changed the way we think about "our bodies, our selves" and that maybe this accounts a bit for the differences young people often have from older people about body modification, especially permanent modification like extreme stretching and large tattoos. It feels extremely satisfying to change something permanently in a world where I can reinvent myself any time I damn well please. Body modification is pretty much the only thing that can actually make a permanent dent on the image I present to the world, because like all young people who have embraced technology I am a radical individualist and I know that however lovely people are to have around, they are replaceable. And they too can reinvent themselves and change radically at the drop of a hat, move, change their faith and their community and their online personality (if not, to some extent, their personality in real life). Body modifications force you into a performance, just as much as being overweight or underweight does (though you can lose and gain weight more easily than you can erase a huge tattoo, especially with the new stomach surgeries, so maybe we shouldn't even compare that) because you have to perform your weight, you are forced into it, big girls are treated one way by society and small girls another and so on.

I think I am rambling now, so I'll stop. But my point is, I think that body modification is an extremely important phenomenon tied to the growth of the internet and changes of identity therein, and some communities have explicitly religious aspects to their body mod practices. And they're interesting, especially when they're online.

So, if you know me you know I don't look like a hippie. I mean, I look like a college student, but not like a hippy.

Hence maybe it's a little weird that today I threw out everything I own that has -cones, petroleum products, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, or parabens except for a bottle of backup shampoo and my shaving cream (which I am still looking for a good replacement for.) I was motivated in part by a variety of newspaper articles I've been reading and in part by the advice of the Long Hair Livejournal Community, since I'm trying to grow my hair out longer than it's ever been (read: to "classic length," just at the tops of the thighs. We'll see if it's too irritating and I have to cut it then.)

For about six months now I've been never washing my face. Instead, I rinse it, or if I've been wearing makeup I use a little bit of extra virgin olive oil with a drop or two of tea tree oil to cleanse. If I need or want to exfoliate, I use some brown sugar added into that mixture. So far, I've been very happy with the results: my skin is clear except for a few stress-related spots, and I've noticed that the blackheads that are on everyone's nose have gotten smaller. My skin never feels dry and "stretched" anymore, not even in the middle of the winter. I wash my body with plain soap -- Dr. Bronner's.

For body and lip moisturizing I use only shea butter. After a year of shea butter, I have noticed that commercial petroleum-based products just feel disgusting. I don't know why. I think that the problem is that all the additives form a weird coat on your skin, which probably once felt healthy and 'silky' to me, but now only feels artificial and gross.

Today, I started using the "no 'poo" method to clean my hair. Essentially, it involves washing your hair with a little bit of baking soda and water, and rinsing it with apple cider vinegar every third or fourth time you wash it. I've been thinking about trying this method for a long time, but recently I realized that there was literally NO easily available shampoo that didn't have -cones, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, or parabens (or some combination thereof) in it unless I wanted to order expensively online. So I decided to try it. I was very, very skeptical about no 'poo; I still am not sure about the long-term effects, and we'll have to see how it goes. My worries are compounded by the fact that no 'poo is supposedly best for curly, coarse hair, and my hair is stick-straight and very fine. But, I've been reading up enough about chemicals in cosmetics, and I figure it's worth a try.

This morning's hair-washing actually has made me feel a lot better. Initially it was very strange to wash my hair with something that didn't lather or smell perfumey. It also felt a little weird: when I was rinsing it, the hair felt almost sticky. I towel-dried it and have been letting it air-dry since. As it has dried, my hair has become incredibly soft and bouncy, as if I'd used a really good clarifying shampoo. It doesn't smell objectionable and it looks great. If my hair keeps behaving like this, I see no reason why I would ever use shampoo again! But then, I haven't gotten to the apple cider vinegar rinse part: we'll see how that goes. I'm pretty excited, though.

And goddamn, am I hippyish.

Who just got herself a sweet research assistantship with Ellen (the classicist not the English prof)?

Oh that's right it's me!

So, I'm gonna be here not workin' for the man, but instead workin' for, well, I guess the woman. Uh. Anyway, I'll make enough that with odd jobs I'll cover all my bases just fine, and I'm pretty excited. Even though I know it will be a lot of xeroxing, I'm definitely looking forward to it. Time to pile a lot of music on the ol' iPod and zone out whilst learning to use copy machines better, right?

Also? The word "xerox" is really fun both to say and type. Xerox, xerox, xerox. I suspect I will find it less fun after a month of research assistanting, but oh well.

So, for what it's worth, this summer it looks like I will be staying in Portland come Hell or high water (read: even if it means I have to sell my plasma, not that that's legal anymore, and go on food stamps because I don't have a job). When the year starts up again, I will probably be taking:

FALL
Thesis! Oh my God, I am going to be a senior. I am almost finished with my undergraduate career. What?!
Epistemology (I might replace this with Logic, but I'm pretty sure I want to take a philosophy class either way)
Intro to Judaism (I might replace this with Intro to Islam if Kyriell is teaching it and it fits my schedule)
Latin 311 (audit).

SPRING
Thesis HELL! Oh my God, this will be my last semester at Reed...
Intro to Chinese Religions (I might replace this with an upper level Islam course if I can get through Intro Islam first semester; I can't decide... this will be a more difficult semester anyway, so maybe I should just take the intro course and relax. But it will be full of freshmen, which will be irritating, and an upper level course would mitigate that possibility. H'm...)
Special Topics in Ancient Christianity (I don't know what the topic for this actually is but Emma Wasserman is teaching it which makes it a-OK by me)
Latin 312 (audit).

I keep wondering about Latin -- should I just take it first semester as a class for credit and then not take philosophy? Should I forget about it entirely as thesis and two classes is plenty to worry about? Am I doomed to drop it second semester? But we'll see.

As for living, I will continue to be ensconced in the Once and Future Haus. It seems like Nick will be getting an apartment, maybe in Wimbledon, which will be nice -- not so far away as campus and a real kitchen and so forth.

And afterwards? Well... I've been thinking about taking a year off and it only really makes sense financially to do that in Portland, but I guess it depends on the job market. I can always move back home if I need to, buy a car and live in Sacramento, though that would be sub-optimal. Then again, I'm open to just about anywhere. I've thought about trying to get a job back in Lincoln (NE) so I could have the experience of living there as an adult, which would be nice. I could also theoretically move to the East Coast, since most of the grad programs I'm interested in are there and I'd just be heading out a year early. I guess I'll see what my life looks like at this time next year, throw a dart into a map of the world, and go where it leads me.